I almost forgot to share my getting hurt story from vacation! Everyone loves those!
I was playing on the trampoline at my sister’s place. I know, already off to a bad start! So I’m on the trampoline with her roommate’s daughter, who is like three. I was holding her hands and jumping with her. She decides to tackle me, so I play it up like she really was squishing me with her two pounds of fury! While I am laying on the trampoline she tries to sit on my face!!! Diaper and all. Instead, I snatch her up, and carefully slam her into the trampoline on her back. She giggles a lot.
Then I tell her, “What is that?” pointing at her arm. She says, “My arm!” So I say, “What are those?” pointing at her fingers. She says, “My fingers!” So I ask her, “What are fingers for?” She looks at me confused. I inform her, in my best scary aunt voice, “Fingers are for eating!” and I make like I am going to eat her fingers. She laughs till she is snotty.
So then I ask her, “What are those?” pointing at her toes. She is on to me and starts to giggle before she can answer. I say, “Toes? Are those toes? Toes are for eating! Nom Nom Nom!!!!” She stops giggling and straight faced tells me, “My toes are too dirty for eating!”
This is where I tell her, “Hold still! This is important. Don’t move!” So I scoop her up in my arms and step off the trampoline onto the plastic table that serves as a stair case.
The table implodes! My leg is luckily not broken, the child is luckily not dropped, and I didn’t freak out. I kept my cool, pulled my leg out of the wreckage, and continued on my mission. All I could think was, ouch! and don’t freak out or she’ll freak out.
I get her in the house and inform my sister that clean toes must happen so that I can eat them. There is a lot of giggling and nom nom nom!
In the meantime, my shin is completely bruised and there are bruises on the sides and back of my knee from the table carnage. Good news is the table collapses all the time, and was easily fixed.